I Can't Be Your Superman
by Ashley12345
Summary: Rory and Jess in NY. What will happen?
1. Small Town USA: Home to the Screwed and ...

I Can't Be Your Superman  
  
Chapter 1: Small Town USA: Home of the Screwed and Crazy  
  
Disclaimer: Not mine.  
  
Distribution: Take it; just ask me 1st (CoffeeGurl21@aol.com)  
  
Cast: Jess, Rory, Lorelai, and Luke  
  
Guest Starring: The town of Stars Hallow, All your favorite Chiltonites and Tristan  
  
Spoilers: None that I can think of Authors Note: This is a dark fic at the moment but it will get lighter. Please forget everything about Jess you have previously viewed. The story has swearing so be warned. Probably sex in the future. I'm not sure. You could always review and tell me what you want ::wink wink::. Please R&R. Oh, and yes I stole the title from the lyrics of and Emimen song.  
  
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I have been in this fucking town for a day and haven't met one sane person. From my flannel-wearing uncle to the town good girl, not one of them was sane. Rory. The name flashed through my mind. She and her crazy mother were addicted to coffee. Coffee! What the hell was that about? Jesus, if you were going to be addicted to something at least do it right. I mean booze, heroin, coke, all this I can see. But coffee? I miss home. I miss drowning my troubles with a few shots and I miss the drugs and I miss the not being noticed. Everyone stares here. God, at home you could walk around coked up and it wouldn't make a difference. Here you couldn't get high without someone noticing. I'm supposed to go to school, and be a good boy. I don't know how. I've never been good. I can't say I miss my mom or any of her millions of fucked up boyfriends. I miss the girls and the drugs. They took my mind off things. Hell they took my mind away to a place where I could stand living. But they also got me stuck in small town USA, home of the screwed and crazy. Maybe if I hadn't of been high I wouldn't have been caught. Maybe if I hadn't of been high I wouldn't have done it in the first place. Guess it doesn't matter now. I'm stuck here. No sex, no drugs, no friends.  
  
I turn on the music, loud as it can go, before grabbing a bottle and a book and shoving it in a bag. I go downstairs, leaving the music on to piss Luke off. I see Rory and her mom. She smiles at me and I almost grin, I catch myself in time, and I walk out the door as Luke shouts at me, wanting to know when I'm coming back. I shout back "later" and I'm gone. I walk down to a bridge. Sitting down, I bring out the bottle of Jack Daniels, the only one Luke didn't find. I take a swig and relax. My body settles immediately and I think back to the week before. I can see the club where we hang and the bar were we get wasted and hotels were we go to leave out thoughts and clothes behind. I see the girl I was with. I can't remember her name, but it doesn't matter. I'm jerked out of my dream world when someone sits down beside me. It's Rory.  
  
"This the way you solve your problems Jessie?" She asks, picking up the bottle.  
  
"It's Jess and that's the way I solve everything." The words tumble out of my mouth before I can stop them. I look at her and she smiles. Wordlessly she drops the bottle over the side of the bridge. I look at her, angry words filling my head. I let some out and she cringes. Then she gets up and walks away. I tell myself I don't care, that I'm mad about the drink. But I'm not sure if that's it. I pick up the book and get lost in a world other than this one. Books, I have found do the same thing as drugs and sex, they take you away. And right now that's all I really want.  
  
End of chapter 1. I know it's short. Review if you want another chapter. ;) 


	2. Dumped

Hello! I'm back! R&R. Please review. It keeps me happy.  
  
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He never laughs and he doesn't realize I watch him. He thinks I'm perfect, I can tell. But he doesn't know. He doesn't know I slept with Tristan, or I sneak out late at night to be with him-or that I use to, not anymore. He thinks I need someone as "perfect" as me. It makes me laugh, because I know the truth. By no means am I as bad as he is. But sometimes I want to be. The little things I do won't be my downfall, at least I hope not. He has no idea I wanted to take a swig out of the bottle before dumping it over the edge. I don't want him to be perfect, I just want him around. So he needs to be good, at least for a while.  
  
I need someone now. Tristan is gone now, and he left me with some stuff. But he had no choice. I know he didn't want to. But military school beckoned. Maybe jess could help me out of the mess I'm in. Just maybe.  
  
So now I'm sitting on the bridge thinking about this jaded soul, and I feel a person behind me, and I know it's him. I turn and smile, he doesn't smile back but he sits down beside me, bringing out another bottle. He takes a swig and sets it down. I pick it up, I know what he expects but I surprise him. I take a drink. Finally he smiles, thinking that maybe I'm not as good as I seem. Then I drop the bottle in the stream. He swears and calls me a bitch. I mutter, "screw you" the moment before I feel his lips on mine. His tongue probes and I open up to him. I can feel him smirking. His hand roams freely and I don't stop it. He surprised when I let him go under my skirt, but I know he is just testing my limits, he expects me to stop him, and when I don't he'll stop himself. I'm right, he stops, and I stifle a moan into his shoulder. He pulls me into his lap and tilts my face so I'm looking down at him, taller only because I'm straddling him.  
  
"Are you bad or good?" He asks me, looking into my eyes. I'm a paradox to him.  
  
I'm both, I think to myself. He studies my face when I don't answer. I can feel him through his jeans and I squirm a little to give him his answer. I stop and start to get up, but he senses what I'm going to do before I do it. He jumps up suddenly, dumping me into the water. I sputter and go under, I surface and look at him.  
  
"I don't like teases." He says and starts to walk away.  
  
"Maybe I wasn't teasing." I say in response. He looks at me for a second.  
  
"Maybe." He does walk off then. I'm left to contemplate. Would I have stopped him? Was I teasing? I wasn't sure, but I knew one thing. Jess Mariano had caught my eye, and part of my heart.  
  
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Review if you want more. Check out The Torso Tango too! 


	3. The Rules of the Game

New chapter! Short and.well.not sweet but you'll see. ( Tell me what you think! It will make my day!  
  
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What the hell was she thinking? What was I thinking? I kissed her. The town good girl. Ha. Right. If she's good than I'm the King of England. No she wasn't good. She might not be bad. But she's not good. She's obviously got issues. I don't need someone like that. I just don't. But I want her. I think she wants me too. She surprised me when she let my hand roam, but I surprised her more when I dumped her in the water. She deserved it though. Maybe now she'll stop playing with me. Leave me alone. But is that what I really want? I'm not sure. I like her.but is that enough.  
  
I'm scrubbing down tables as the object of my affection comes through the door. She sits at the counter and grins at me, licking her lips. Jesus, what the hell is she up to? I walk behind the counter and pour her a cup of coffee. She takes a swig and smiles at me again.  
  
"What do you want?" I ask, my voice is not friendly.  
  
"Food." She replies, her voice is sarcastic. I smirk and go into the back, leaving her with a scowl. I come back a few minutes later with a salmon sandwich on a plate. Someone, I think it was Luke told me she hates salmon.  
  
"Here. Food. Enjoy." I smirk again and into the back. I few seconds later I here her cough and mutter something, before I know it she is charging into the storage room and she grabs my arm.  
  
"What the fuck is wrong with you? Why are you so unfriendly?"  
  
"Wrong with me? You want to know what is wrong with me? Listen girly. I just came here from New York, where I could do anything I wanted. Now I'm in the shitty little town where everyone watches me all the time like I'm a criminal. Then you dump my booze TWICE, tease me and totally confuse me and act like a total bitch. I miss my home. I miss all of my girlfriends; I miss the drugs, and my old style of life. So there ya go sugar pie. That's what's wrong with me. Know what's wrong with you huh? Life not perfect? Grades going down? Fight with you mom? Your boyfriend screw you and leave you?" He was almost shouting, and was glad no one was in the diner. When she didn't say anything he yelled again. "Come on Rory, we've discussed my issues now what are yours?" He had more to say but stopped when he saw a tear make its way down her cheek. "Ah Jesus Rory. I didn't mean to make you cry." He said and enveloped her in a hug. She fought at first but her struggles gradually decreased and then stopped. After a few minutes she pulled away from him. Her faced is back up. Her face is hard.  
  
"You have no idea what my traumas are Jess. My life hasn't been horrible, but it hasn't been great. Don't judge me, and don't mess with me." She smiles and he knows her mood is about to change. Her eyes sparkle with mischief. "You want me? Then work for me. I wouldn't mind paying you. Bye Jessie." She walked out of the storage room and out of the diner.  
  
Damn she confuses me. After hugging her I want her more then ever. But does she want me? Or is she just playing? I hope she figures it out. Or I'm gonna start working. 'Cas at the moment there is nothing that sounds more appealing to me than having her little body under mine. I wonder if she makes noise? She sounds like she would be the type to moan and scream. You never know though, maybe she's reserved like the cover she puts up. She wants to please people. That's a good thing from where I sit.  
  
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Hmm. He seems as confused as I feel. Good. I want him and I know he wants me, but he's not going to get me easily. I am going to make him work for it. I know he will. I'm not startled to here the door slam behind me. He grabs my arm, much like I grabbed his earlier. He spins me around and before I know it his lips are on mine again, only for a split second. He turns back around and goes into the diner, leaving me on the street, mouth open, and mind reeling. I suddenly got the feeling that maybe we weren't playing by my rules anymore. That's just as well for now. His rules seem fun.  
  
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All done! New chapter coming as soon as you tell me what you think! Review! 


	4. Oh baby

Hey everyone! Well here's the new chapter. I seriously had no idea where this story was going and look at what happened. Lol. I think this should be interesting though. So R&R. Especially Review.  
  
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"Hey Jessie." I say as I come into the diner. He looks up at me as I take a seat and scowls. Is he mad? Why does he hate that name so much? It's fun to rile him up. I notice that Kirk is in the corner and Taylor is sitting at the other end of the table. She knew she shouldn't make a scene in front of them, especially Taylor.  
  
"It's Jess. Not Jessie. Jess. Just Jess. Why is that so hard for you?" He asked. He didn't sound pissed, just agitated. Like he was trying to teach a little kid something that kid could just not seem to grasp. She was that little kid, except she just didn't give a flying fuck what he wanted. Well, no, that wasn't true. She did care if he wanted her. She knew she wanted him. But what if he found out her secret? She knew he would find out soon, she knew the whole town would fine out soon. You couldn't keep something like this a secret long.  
  
I've only known for a few hours and already I know that life is going to change, I'm going to change. And yet I haven't cried or screamed. Not yet anyway. I guess it's true what they say. Life always comes back and bites you on the ass. That's all I was doing. Living life. Look what's happened. Maybe he can help. Maybe if I tell him he'll have advice. We'd formed a truce of sorts in the past weeks. We didn't kill each other or anything and he slipped me some good stuff in my coffee once in a while, as well as some tongue during stolen moments. I wouldn't say we were friends, but we were getting closer. He would help me, I know he would. He had to.  
  
He held up a bottle after looking around. I shook my head no and he cocked an eyebrow. I never said no. I stared at him for a moment before motioning to the door. I wanted to get out of here, and I wanted him to come with me, so I could tell him. He shook his head and called to Caesar letting him know that he was leaving. Caesar grumbled but said okay. Neither Rory nor Jess said anything until they got to the bridge. Rory sat down and stared at the water. Jess sat beside her. After a few minutes he put his hand on her leg. She startled and looked at him, and before she knew it the words were tumbling out of her mouth, she had no idea where they were coming from, and she had no time to think about them, but they came and they kept on coming. She was glad for that. As they sat on the bridge she told him the whole story. About Tristan and their passionate affair, their break up, him leaving for North Carolina, that one last fling, that careless fling 4 and a half months ago, and now the result of that fling. And when she finished, she cried, and he wrapped his arms around her. The sobs racked her body and his, and they died down slowly, until they sat there just like that, tears streaming down her face while she was wrapped in his arms. He kissed the top of her head and she looked up and gave him a half smile.  
  
"What are you going to do?" He asked. The words surprised her, like she hadn't expected him to talk, only sit there and hold her. But he had talked, he had asked, and now she had to answer. She thought for a moment, and couldn't come up with an answer. What did she want to do? Did she want to keep the baby? Hell did she even want to have the baby? The answer to the last question was yes. The answer to the first? Lord only knows.  
  
"I don't know." She said as she looked up into his eyes. "I just don't know".  
  
"Let's go tell your mom." He said, and they did. Lorelai was stunned. Everything was jumbled and no one knew anything except that they didn't want Stars Hollow to know anything. They went to the diner and told Luke, and all the sudden plans were being made. Rory was told to pack, she was going to New York and she wasn't going alone. Jess was coming with her. That wasn't all that weird to Rory. What was weird was where they would be living. With Jesses mom. In their house. Their very big house. That surprised Rory. She had always thought Jess was kind of poor. Obviously this was not the case. His family was loaded. Well his mom's family was loaded. They were set to leave in two weeks.  
  
Jess was happy, Rory was sullen, and everyone else was still stunned. Life went on as Rory packed up. She would be gone for quite a while. She wasn't coming straight home after the baby was born. She just couldn't. She had to decide if she could handle a baby. And that might take a while.  
  
The big day came two weeks later and Jess and Rory hopped on a train. Rory was crying and Jess was trying to comfort her yet again. They had become even closer in the past weeks, but they still were friends, they companions, and talk-buddies, and almost lovers, but deep down they were still weary of each other. And now they were going to be together all the time. They were going to be en-rolled in a public school, where no one would even notice or care about Rory's bulging belly.  
  
A few hours after boarding the train they arrived in New York. Rory had stopped crying, Jess was suddenly happier then ever, and when they got off the train she knew why. All his friends were waiting for him. Including some girl who through her arms around him and kissed him like there was no tomorrow. And with that Rory burst into tears yet again.  
  
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Finished! Haha Review if you want more. ( 


	5. Now and Forever or Never Ever

Hi people! A new chapter for you all! Hope you like it. Old fans and new! Please R&R. Feel free to email me or IM me 2! EspressoShortie@hotmail.com thanks a million!  
  
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I heard Jess ask me why I was crying but I couldn't seem to answer. He hadn't responded to the girl, in fact he had pushed her away. That had stopped my crying a little. As weird and irrational as it was. I wasn't dating Jess. I was just going to live with him for a while. After Jess talked to me his group looked at me. I still had tears running down my face but his friends looked so surprised it shocked me and I stopped crying.  
  
"Jess who is she and what is her trauma?" The girl who had kissed Jess asked.  
  
"This Is Rory everyone. She is going to be living with me for a while. It's why I'm back," Jess said. Then he looked at me. "Ror, this is Cherry, Zane, Xander, Sage and that cute little blonde pixie in the corner is my sister, we call her Tinker Bell, or Bell." Jess finished pointing them out in turn.  
  
Cherry was the one who was all over Jess, Zane, Xander, and Sage all looked nice enough, although full of piercings and covered in tattoos. But it was Bell that caught my attention. I hadn't known that Jess had a sister, let alone one who was so perfectly cute. She looked about 16 and she had short almost white blonde hair and she was maybe 5'1. She looked like Tinker Bell, she also looked just as innocent. Obviously she didn't usually hang out with Jess and his friends. They were all looking at me and I felt I needed to explain.  
  
"I'm pregnant." Were the only two words I said but their faces transformed immediately. They no longer looked guarded and surprised but welcoming and concerned, also sympathetic. All of them but Cherry, she had a slight grin on her face.  
  
"My, my Jess, you have been a busy boy haven't you? You haven't been gone that long. My guess is you got her to spread her legs two weeks into your little visit. She doesn't seem to be as good as she looks. Did you give her some good stuff in exchange for a little TLC babe?" Cherry said. Her tone was sweet and innocent but her words were sharp.  
  
Jess grabbed her arm and pulled her off to the side. He talked loud enough to where we could all hear him despite the small distance. "Cherry would you please stop being such a fucking bitch. Rory is a nice person, I am not the father of her baby, and she wouldn't have sex for drugs or money, unlike some people I know". He said giving her a pointed look. He dragged her back to the group.  
  
Bell looked at me shyly. "Hi Rory, it's nice to meet you. We got the room next to mine all ready for you. It was completely empty before so I got to pick out furniture and stuff. I hope you'll like it."  
  
"Thank you. I'm sure I will. I hope you didn't go to too much trouble though." I said quietly.  
  
"Oh your welcome, it was no problem." Bell grinned. "Jess is right on the other side of you."  
  
"Okay. That sounds good." I said softly and looked at Jess.  
  
"Yeah, that sounds very good." Jess said and put his arms around me. I pulled away slightly. Jess gave me a puzzled look but quickly recovered. "Okay are you ready to go?"  
  
"Yep. I'm ready. I'm kind of tired." I murmured and yawned for good measure. His friends were a little overwhelming and I didn't want to hurt their feelings but I didn't want to hang out with them tonight either.  
  
"Fine we'll go home and you can get settled in." He squeezed my shoulders a little and looked at his friends. "So how are we getting home?"  
  
"Ah, your mom and da.step dad are having us travel in style." Zane replied and pointed to a stretch Escalade limo parked at the curb.  
  
"Damn. How in the hell do I rate this?" Jess asked.  
  
"Mom and Dad love you. Besides when I announced I was coming they said there was no way in hell I was riding with your friends." Bell said cheerfully.  
  
Jess laughed. "That figures, come on guys, lets hit the road."  
  
We all grabbed a bag; I had brought plenty, and loaded our selves into the limo. Cherry squeezed herself in by Jess. Zane made a move to get up so I could sit next to Jess but Bell motioned for him to sit down and patted the seat by her. She didn't want there to be a fight. I could see it in her eyes. I could also see the anger in Jess's eyes when he looked at Cherry. He didn't say anything but I saw him clenching his fist in an effort not to go off on her.  
  
We traveled for around an hour until we turned onto a long gravel drive way. The house that sat at the end of the driveway rivaled and surpassed my grandmothers in size and grandeur. I knew immediately that the limo they were in was not rented. It was theirs. Not even grandma had a permanent limo. My breath caught in my throat. I was going to live here? I wondered what Jess's parents would tell everyone. Would they make it clear that the baby wasn't Jess's? Or would they let people wonder? Questions spun through my head but I put them aside. I would know soon enough.  
  
"Where are mom and Greg?" Jess asked Bell. The house looked empty.  
  
"Didn't they tell you? They're on vacation for two weeks. Key Largo." Bell chimed cheerfully. "I thought you knew"  
  
"No I didn't. Not like it matters. We'll be here when they get back." Jess said.  
  
I was slightly confused. I thought they would be here for sure. What kind of parents leave when their child is coming back from a long absence? I reached out for Jess's hand and he jerked away. The gesture put me off a little. I understood that he was upset but it wasn't my fault. Jess hopped out of the car as it rolled to a stop telling us not to worry about the bags, Charlie and Sarah could bring them in. We all followed him up the stairs and into the front door.  
  
Zane was the first to speak. "So where are we going tonight?"  
  
Jess looked at me. "I don't know where you guys are going but I'm staying here with Rory for the night."  
  
I immediately felt guilty. "Jess go with your friends. I can survive here. I'm just going to take a bath and go to sleep." I said with as much enthusiasm as I could muster.  
  
"Yeah." Bell chimed in "I'll take care of Rory. Don't worry about it. We can get to know each other and stuff."  
  
Jess looked at me again. "Are you sure?"  
  
"Yeah no problem. Go enjoy being home. I'll still be here tomorrow." And then gave a pointed look to Cherry, "And when you get home tonight."  
  
Jess smirked. "Thank you babe." He went to kiss my cheek, and this time I'm the one who pulls away and he kisses the air. He looks bewildered for a minute and the guys cough and Cherry grins like a hyena. I smile sweetly at her and flip her off when no one can see. Her smile fades into a frown and she pulls Jess out the door. Slips her hand into his pocket. The rest of them follow like puppies. Their leader is back. They have a king again.  
  
Bell smiles at me sadly. "Cherry is just trying to unnerve you. Jess will stop her when he can talk to her alone."  
  
"It doesn't matter. Jess and I aren't together. We're friends. Nothing more." I say. Even I don't believe it.  
  
"Oh okay. I just thought because.well never mind. Do you wanna see your room?" She asked.  
  
"Sure! That would be great." I say, louder then I had intended. Bell smiles at me and takes my hand, leading me up the stairs. She's sweet and I know I'm going to love the room. At least for her sake.  
  
And I do love it. When she opens the door I gasp. I've been lead into a living room. All the furniture is black, white, chrome or glass. But everywhere you look there is color. Huge bright throw pillows adorn the couch. Making the black leather come alive with blue polka dots, read and orange stripes, and purple and green zig zags. The bookshelves on the white walls were bright pink, lime green and lemon yellow. The plush white carpet was covered in multi-colored rugs. The computer desk was chrome and glass and held a purple PC. The shelves were covered in books. The ceiling was painted black and as I gazed up at it Bell turned off the lights. All the sudden I was looking into the night sky. Not those fake plastic stars but little pin pricks of light, they formed constellations and I could even see the red glow of Mars.  
  
"We had someone come in to do it. I got my room done too, and Jess's. And the, uh, babies room." Bell said as she gazed up.  
  
"It's amazing. Thank you." I enveloped her in a hug and she told me I was welcome. She turned the lights back on and led me into the bedroom. It matched the living room. The bed was huge and covered in fluffy comforters and pillows. I saw two doors and asked where they lead.  
  
"That one goes to Jess's bedroom. You can lock it if you want. Oh and that one leads to the bathroom and the dressing room. She took me in there. There was a small foyer type area with a wall of mirrors and a chair. Off to one side there was a huge walk in closet and on the other there was a bathroom with a huge sunken tub and a shower that could house a small orgy.  
  
The whole think was magnificent and I told Bell what I thought and she just blushed. She said she was going to leave me alone now and I told her to stay. We ended up talking for hours. About anything and everything. She asked about the baby and it's father. I told her about Tristan and she asked if he knew. When I told her that he didn't she suggested a "road" trip to North Carolina. I told her I would think about it. She asked me how I felt about Jess and I told her. She asked about everything. And I told her. I was completely honest and we fell asleep on that cushy bed around 2 am. Around 3 I heard someone come in and then Jess swore.  
  
"Bell what the hell are you doing in here. Get out!" Jess whispered. Bell chuckled and left and Jess came to where I was sleeping. He kissed me and laid on the bed beside me. "Babe your still dressed."  
  
"Yeah. I know," I said.  
  
"Can I help you with that?" He asked. It wasn't a question and he started to pull my shirt up.  
  
"Jess what's going on with you and Cherry?" My question stopped him dead in his tracks.  
  
"Nothing. I broke up with her before I left."  
  
"Does she know that?" I asked him.  
  
"Yes. She's the queen of the pack Ror. She's just marking her territory. Letting you know that you can't take over." Jess stated.  
  
"Fine tell her I don't want to be the fucking queen. But tell her that you are mine and I will not put up with anymore of her bull shit." As soon as I said it I regretted it.  
  
"I'm yours huh? You sure you want me to tell her that Rory? You say it now and if you stick to it I will not let you pull back later. What happens in two months when school is out and Tristan's back from military school? What happens when you go home? Tell me Ror. It's now or never. I'm yours or I'm not. You can't go back on this. Not now not ever.  
  
I know he's serious. If I ever go back to Tristan after this he's gone, out of my life. It's not something I can take back. Not something I can return or stick on the shelf. He will be there forever. The thought comforts me. He will take care of me. Will I get this chance again? It was now or never. I chose now. I chose forever. I kissed him.  
  
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Okay you guys what do you think??? Please review!!! Please please please!! And I know this isn't how the show is!!! There is a reason for that! So please review! I love you all! 


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